The Duality of Leadership
Hero and Villain in the Same Story
In organizations of sufficient size, conflicting incentives among individuals are inevitable. As leaders, we often find ourselves navigating these complex dynamics, sometimes emerging as heroes, other times as villains. This duality is not just acceptable; it’s often a sign of effective leadership.
Many managers struggle with the desire to be liked. While no one wants to work with an unlikable person, there’s a crucial difference between being liked and being respected or effective. This distinction became clear to me through a recent conversation with an ex-coworker about my tenure at a previous company.
Reflecting on my time there — 95% highly positive, 5% challenging — I asked, “Did that final 5% ruin people’s perception of me?” His response was illuminating:
“You’re a hero in some stories, and a villain in others.”
This perspective is both comforting and instructive for several reasons:
Impact Matters
Being cast as either a hero or a villain means I made an impact. The world is rarely black and white, especially in leadership roles. While I strive to be viewed positively more often than not, I respect the varying perspectives my actions may generate.Decision-Making Necessitates Dissent
We’re all familiar with the phrase “too many cooks in the kitchen.” In large groups, satisfying everyone’s requirements and feelings is impossible. However, avoiding decisions altogether leads to organizational paralysis. Effective leaders must make tough calls, knowing they won’t please everyone.Feedback as a Valuable Signal
Those who view us as villains often provide negative or constructive feedback. This input is invaluable, but it must be contextualized. A manager’s job is to synthesize feedback from all angles, considering the perspective of the giver, the situation, and the broader context. Raw feedback, taken at face value, can harm team dynamics and send incorrect messages.
Consider a scenario where a diverse team collaborates on a shared outcome. Disagreements are common, and the “disagree and commit” principle often comes into play. It’s natural for those who disagreed to harbor some resentment, even if they committed to the decision.
As leaders, we must balance pleasing all parties with effectively pursuing outcomes. This balance often leads to an internal struggle between self-doubt and self-confidence. In immature organizations lacking proper feedback frameworks, unstructured “peer feedback” can disproportionately influence performance evaluations, exacerbating this challenge.
Reflecting on the perspectives of those who might view me as a villain, I see numerous opportunities for personal growth and improved collaboration. However, I’m grateful to have been a significant character in their stories. It means I pushed for change and results. I wasn’t just a passive bystander avoiding conflict and adding no value.
Ultimately, I’m a strong believer in teamwork. My hope is that when others think of my team’s accomplishments, they see a group of heroes (or villains) working together, with me as just one member helping to bring everyone together.
In leadership, as in life, our actions will inevitably cast us in different lights to different people. The key is to remain true to our principles, learn from our experiences, and continually strive to make a positive impact — even if it means occasionally playing the villain in someone else’s story.
